Plans

"For I know the plans I have for you, 

                      declares the Lord.

~Jeremiah 29:11

Sometimes I wish I knew those plans.  I am trying really hard to trust Him, but some days I have no clue what I'm doing or where I'm headed.  I am enjoying this new adventure I'm on, don't get me wrong.  But today was one of those days where I thought, "really??  Is this really where I'm supposed to be right now?" 

I know that's hard to believe when I'm in the thriving metropolis of Merrill, WI!  Ha.  The highlight of my day was doing my laundry and washing the kitchen floor.  There are things I definitely miss right now, but there are also things I love. 

So tonight, I'll go to bed listing the things I love about my new normal ... trying to have faith in those plans He has for me. 

The start of something new.

Well, I'm doing it! Travel nursing is something I've always wanted to do. And it's something Dad always encouraged me to do. I think he was patiently waiting for me to take off around the country, just so he could take off and visit wherever I decided to go!

About a month ago I started filling out applications, talking to recruiters, trying to keep my head above water while delving into the world of a travel nurse. And here I am, on my first assignment! I feel excited. Scared. Anxious. Terrified. Happy. Nervous. And good. Really good about my decision to do this.

So here I go, starting on the journey of a lifetime!!

I'm hoping to update the blog often, to keep everyone back home up to date on everything. Keep me up to date with your life as well - comment, email, text, just don't lose touch! :)

One year

March 17th, St. Patrick's Day, marked one year since Dad passed away. St. Pat's Day will never be considered lucky in this family. Here is the caring bridge post I wrote on that day.

Don't be mad, if I cry
It just hurts so bad sometimes.
'Cause everyday, it's sinking in
And I have to say good by all over again.
You know I bet it feels good to have the weight of this world off your shoulders now.
I'm dreaming of the day when I'm finally there with you.

I have asked, the questions why,
But I guess the answer's for another time.
So instead I'll pray with every tear,
And be thankful for the time I had you here.

And I wanna live my life just like you did.
Make the most of my time just like you did.
And I wanna make my home up in the sky
Just like you did, so until I get there ...

Save a place for me.

~Matthew West

One year ago today, I was in Arizona, being told that Dad wasn't making it. This time, he hasn't beaten the odds. And we had to make the hardest decision of our lives - to let Dad go.

We've had a rough year of ups and downs, we've made it through all the firsts. But somehow, it feels like the "second's" won't be any easier. I feel like the shock is wearing thin, and the realization that I'll never see him this side of heaven again has finally set in. So in a way, this next year will still be a year of firsts. Some days it feels like it will never get any easier, and other days I do really well. It sure is a rollercoaster.

Life has moved on for everyone, but in our house time is still standing still. I can still hear the sound of Dad's voice, expect him to walk in the door, pick up my ringing phone in hope that it's him. Deep down, I know those things will never happen - but in my heart I want them to.

We are slowly starting to pick ourselves up, it seems like we have more good days than bad lately. Today was one of the bad days. We all got together as a family tonight, it was great to be together. We went through some things in Dad's closet, remembering the things he wore the most - some things from the 80's were still in there I think! - and laughing about some of the crazy things he wore. The memories flowed easily, and so did the tears. It was a nice ending to a not-so-nice day, being able to celebrate Dad's life and the legacy he left for all of us.

And on that note, I'm changing this blog. It basically started as a place to express my feelings regarding my loss - but I haven't done so well keeping up. So I'm changing it over to a life/family/fun blog! We always have crazy happenings going on at our house, I'm always traveling somewhere, and I'm hoping to start learning more about my camera - and taking more pictures. And I want to try "Project 365" this year, starting on my birthday - just 10 days away! So we'll see how this all goes. I'll still write about Dad every once in awhile - but it won't be the focus of this blog anymore.

Maybe I'm not cut out to have a blog - if not, oh well. I enjoy it when I do post, so hopefully I can turn it into more of a regular habit.

Here goes!!!

Happy Birthday Dad

Happy Birthday, Dad. I wish you were spending it with us instead of in heaven this year.

You would be 68 years old today. It's been 8 months that you've been gone, 4 days shy actually. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you, miss you, miss something in my life without you there.

I miss your infectious smile.

I miss hearing your voice.

I miss your hugs.

I miss being able to call you when things aren't right in my world.

I miss calling you for directions, no matter where I am.

I miss planning surprises for mom with you.

I miss you taking care of anything and everything for me.

I miss you teaching me about everything.

I miss our shopping days together, talking you into buying something for the house, or for mom, or buying something just because I think we need it.

I miss camping with you.

I miss bandaging up your scrapes - and scolding your for not being more careful.

I miss your cooking.

I miss going to football and baseball games with you.

I miss picking out and planting flowers with you.

I miss going on trips with you.

I miss you as my designated driver - or me as yours.

I miss hearing your stories - no matter how many times you told them.

I miss hearing about your crazy plans, trips, and ideas.

I miss you always knowing what to say to make me feel better.

I miss the way you always "bragged" about your wife, children and grandchildren to anyone who would listen.

I miss talking to you, minimum of once a day.

I miss you visiting me at work.

I miss your requests to go shopping to buy "in style" jeans and clothes.

I miss packing you for your trips at midnight the night before a 6 am flight.

I miss labeling your dress shirts, ties, and pants so you made sure you had the matching combination.

I miss your yellow spray painted line in the driveway to show us where not to park - if we didn't want to get backed into.

I miss your collecting of travel sized anything from all of your trips.

I miss you getting mad at me for doing things on the computer instead of showing you how.

I miss worrying about you.

I miss you running around on your scooter.

I miss the way you could always talk yourself out of things.

I miss you snoozing in the recliner.

I miss you being the leader of this Griswold family.

I miss being able to always count on you for anything.

I miss what a wonderful, proud grandpa you were.

I miss the way you never thought any food was old or outdated - no matter how much green stuff was growing on it.

I miss hearing you call me by my nicknames.

I miss your presence in this big house.

I miss everything about you ...

But most of all, I just miss my daddy, and being your little girl.



Happy Birthday daddy. I love you.

This house is about to get crazy!!!

Okay, so I know what some of you are thinking ... "Isn't the Logghe house already crazy?" Why yes, it is! So maybe a more fitting title would be that our house is about to get a little crazier!

We have a new football/wrestling coach at the local high school here. Oh, phy ed teacher too! He is from a town in our neighboring state of MN, about 1 1/2 hours from our little rural city. He and his wife have 4 children, and they haven't been able to sell their house in MN yet to fully move here. Since the end of August, "coach" has been living here during the week with his eldest son, "Big C", a 4th grader, so they don't have a 3 hour round trip drive to/from school each day. It has been going really well, it's nice to have someone else in the house - especially a man, who can take care of bats and intruders! (ha, not like we are inviting either!)

There have been some major life changing events within their family in the past 2 weeks. Things that really make it necessary for their family to be together - not split apart for the majority of the week. Since the 3 hour round trip drive is still not possible, what are we to do??

Invite their entire family to live with us, of course!!!

And that's when the crazi*er*ness begins!

New roll call for our household will be: Me and my mom, of course ... Coach, his wife (who we will call H), their eldest daughter (referred to as Sister C) - a 6th grader, their youngest daughter (named K) - a 1st grader, "Little C" - the youngest boy, who is 18 months old, and of course Big C, the 4th grader. (I think I have myself confused ... did they have to name 3/4 of their kids C names?? lol)

They are a very sweet, loving, caring family. I'm not sure when all the moving will happen, but soon, as the girls need to get enrolled in school here as soon as possible. I am looking forward to them moving in, as I heard H is a great cook, I'm already attached to Little C, and I think it will be good to have more than just mom and I here all the time.

My Dad would be in his glory, having all these people here to talk to and entertain! Even if we did have reservations about doing this, which we don't, we know it's what my Dad would want - he would open up our home to them in a heartbeat.

So it's on! I'm picturing reality-TV-like-Logghe-living for awhile. You know ...

"It might be a crazy life, but it's our life!"

Casting Crowns

I have been looking forward to this concert for a long time. I bought my awesome second row seats months ago, and have been patiently waiting for the date to arrive.

Last Thursday night, I finally got to see Casting Crowns live ... and it was amazing. A wonderful night of singing and worship! I have forgotten how to change the settings on my camera to take decent pictures during a concert, and didn't want to waste time playing around with it too much. But I did get a few good pictures!







I walked away from the concert with a lot of things on my mind ... but good things. Things to think about and ponder. I also walked away with a renewed faith, and a reminder that only God knows the plans He has for me - I just need to wait for them to be revealed.

All God's Creatures

On Sunday, I went to the MN Zoo with my sister and her 2 little ones. As we walked around and saw all of the animals, birds, amphibians, etc., I was reminded how great God's creation is. Then we entered the butterfly house ...





I learned that a butterfly only lives for 2-4 weeks. "Seriously???" I thought. Such beautiful, delicate creatures only live that long?? I was amazed ... and then reminded of how fragile life is. Reminded that I need to appreciate my life, while I'm here, appreciate the things I'm able to do, and appreciate the people in my life.

And in other news - I'm going to the Casting Crowns concert at the MN State Fair tonight. I'm super excited!! I've seen their concert special on tv, but haven't been to a live concert yet. Love their music, and can't wait to see them live!